I will admit my enthusiasm for this blog has waned. I enjoy this outlet, being able to post about favorite makeup and budget outfits.
But the truth is, my brain has lost interest. Its also lost interest in my other hobbies and activities. But I am not a slacker and I am not lazy or bored.
Every year, I battle Seasonal Affective Disorder. In simpler terms, during the winter/spring months I become depressed. I have been dealing with this for the better part of 10 years now and am under a doctors care. While its no longer a surprise its at times debilitating.
Simple things become overwhelming. Like trying to organize and take pictures for a blog. I do work fulltime, so that leaves me drained some days with little desire for cooking and any cleaning -the things I have to do to survive. Some would say I am barelt scraping by, but honestly I am exerting twice as more effort on some days.
I do have a great support group, my husband is biggest champion. Every year he is patiently at my side; holding me tight when I cry for hours, washing dishes when the small pile feels like a lot and binge watches Law & Order with me when thats all I can do.
I have goals for myself and for this channel. I post a lot about makeup because I believe in the power of makeup. With blended shadowes, contoured cheeks and matte lips, you would never know that I am suffering inside.
I dont want to hide my depression, thats not what I am saying. Makeup helps me to feel better. As long as I look good on the outside then I know I can get through work fine and once I am home in the safety of my husbands arms then I can melt down.
Sunny days are a blessing. Coffee is a must. Friends and family are a source of strength. Love is my hope. And I hope that spring comes early.